There’s Really No Knowing - Slice Of Life Stories #TehnazBahadurji

His den was his refuge. It wasn't much of a den, just a few odd sofa chairs and scarred and wobbly tables, but it had a TV, and what else does a man need? Plus it was in the basement, and nobody wanted to come down those steep stairs, so he was mostly undisturbed. When it had been just Pearl and he at home, he hadn't needed the den. She kept her remarks to the half-times and ads. They'd sat upstairs, side by side, he watching, she reading, and life had been blissful. Then this female preoccupation with having a baby had started, and while he couldn't see the need, he'd given in after some resistance. Babies were a nuisance, he was well aware, but wives tended to want them. But usually, babies only became a nuisance after they were born. This one had made his life hell from Day Dot. First, it made Pearl very sick, so she couldn't do everything she normally did for him, and he had to do things for her instead, which was damned inconvenient. And he let her know it. So she called in her mother - to keep things on an even keel for him.  Had he known what a right royal inconvenience the mother-in-law was going to be, he'd had have put up with the lesser inconvenience of helping Pearl. This harridan put down roots and looked like she was planning to stay forever. The doctor had said Pearl was having a difficult time and needed nursing and care, but then she'd have been better off without the baby, wouldn't she? He couldn't understand all this hankering for disruptive things like babies, and requiring nursing, and worse still, requiring mothers. How did other women manage? Surely Pearl should be no different. Well, that was all soon to be water under the bridge. It was due any day, they said, and once it had popped out, the old woman could pop right back to her own home, and things could revert to normal, with everything in it's right and proper place. And Pearl could look after him as before, and have the baby to entertain herself with in her free time. He was wallowing in that blissful image of his future, when he heard his name being bellowed from the top of the stairs. The mother-in-law. He pretended he couldn't hear over the roar of the game. But she could out-roar a lion, let alone a TV, and be heard in the next village for good measure, which disrupted his enjoyment of the game, so he muted the TV and asked innocently, "Was somebody calling me?" "Come on up," the sergeant-major commanded. "She needs you." The game wasn't yet over, but it was a foregone conclusion, or he'd never have agreed. That woman knew nothing about men or sport, he thought testily. He took his time switching off the TV and the lights and making his way up, but was startled to see her still standing at the top of the stairs, with her lips pressed together disapprovingly. "What is it, Pearl," he called, and the gorgon turned fractionally to let him pass, though it was really no advantage, since she was as deep as she was wide. He squeezed past without injury to life or limb, and ambled off to see why Pearl should need him. Nothing good would come of it, he knew. Anytime they needed him, it was never any good. As expected! A bloody imposition, and no mistake! She wanted him to go fetch the midwife. Her pains had accelerated, and her waters had burst, whatever that meant, and they couldn't contact the midwife on the phone. She'd been trying for ages, because she didn't want to disturb him during the game, but now she was worried and scared, she said. Firstly, why one must opt for a home birth and a midwife, when there were perfectly good hospitals nearby, with doctors to take care of everything, was a mystery to him. Secondly, why a midwife, in a profession like hers, should ever be unavailable on the phone, was another mystery. And why all these mysteries should land in his lap, that was another of the wicked ways of the world. But when the gorgon was not in their lives, Pearl was a good 'un, so he braced myself for all this unnecessary activity. As he dashed out of the driveway, he noticed he was a bit low on petrol, so he stopped first to fill up the tank. Gunny and Tara were filling up their car too, and as they stood chatting companionably a few minutes, he mentioned he was off in search of the missing midwife. Tara jumped and told him to be on with it then, not stand around chatting, but Gunny, with four kids under his belt, looked sympathetic. After a few more pleasantries, made uncomfortable by Tara hopping from foot to foot as if she needed a visit to the facilities, he pushed off with his full tank. But it struck him that the midwife, if she ever became available, might expect to be paid for her services right away, so he decided to stop at the ATM and draw some cash. It was just a step out of his way. Plus it was right next door to his favourite bar, and since he'd been hanging around in the den to avoid the she-dragon, he hadn't had a drop to drink all day. Surely a quick pop-in and pop-out wasn't going to harm anybody. Babies took forever to make their appearance, he was sure he'd heard that somewhere. A quick wetting of his whistle and he was on his way out, when he bumped into a bunch of the guys on their way in. They stood on the pavement chatting about the game, and they were horrified he'd missed the end of it, that was so unlike him. So they brought him up to date on the last ten minutes, play by play. He'd better get going, he said reluctantly after a few minutes, he had a midwife to find, and that necessitated a whole new rant on the gorgon and all her strange expectations of him. They commiserated, though what would those bachelors know of a married man's trials! Anyway, in another five or ten minutes he did finally leave. The rest of them trooped into the bar together, and he knew he'd be missing a good bit of fun but he faithfully got on with the job. He'd got the car started and almost set off, when he realised he hadn't drawn the cash, so he had to go back and get that done. It didn't take long, since there were just three people in front of him. It was probably quicker than locating another ATM, anyway. He hopped into the car, and was soon back on the road roaring off towards the midwife's house, when he heard a siren behind him, and a glance at the speedometer told him he was way out of line. Lucky for him it was his buddy Jeet, and even though he was in uniform, Jeet, proud papa of one himself, let him off when he heard of the special circumstances of the baby being on its way. He had to listen to a lecture about the dangers of speeding, of course, but Jeet also offered to help him locate the missing midwife, which was a blessing. He'd already wasted enough of his day on that wretched woman. A few quick calls, and he was informed that not only was she discovered, she was already at his place and ministering to Pearl. Which infuriated him no end! Here he was, rushing around the place trying to find this elusive woman, and all the time she was safely in his home and on the job. He should've been informed, he thought hotly. Would've saved him a deal of trouble. He wrenched his phone out of his pocket to call Pearl and give her a piece of his mind, when he noticed there were six missed calls from her. Bloody hell! It was still on silent after the game. He cursed his rotten luck. Jeet offered to officially escort him back home, and he was about to say no thanks, he'd rejoin the lads at the bar, when he caught himself. Better not to tax Jeet's leniency too far. There's no saying what he'd have to listen to if Jeet discovered he'd been drinking and driving. He always had been the righteous type.  They dawdled back home, staying virtuously within the speed limit. The old harridan opened the front door with a face like black thunder. "Why did you send me out chasing all over the country if you were going to catch her yourself anyway?" he thundered right back at her. She turned on her heel and left in silence, throwing him a seething look from under her furious brows. He learnt much later from Gunny, that they'd spied him with the guys outside the bar, and Tara had got mad as a hatter and insisted on calling the midwife herself, and got through first shot, and just in time too, since Pearl had been pretty far gone by then. Then what was all that about babies taking long in the coming? This one seemed to have been in a mighty hurry. He'd hardly been gone an hour or so, and it was already in the arrival lounge. Sometimes he wondered if all the women in the world were in cahoots against him. He was on his way to his safe haven in the basement, when he heard a lusty cry from upstairs. Well, it had arrived, and with a fine pair of lungs, from the sound of things. And not a word of gratitude for him, in spite of all his efforts to run that wretched midwife down. It was no wonder he felt unappreciated and unloved. Anyway the big event was over, and Pearl would be up and about soon, and the old woman should be on her way, thank heaven, and the baby would be taught its place, and peace would be restored in his life. Or so he'd thought. A few months later, things had gone from bad to worse. Pearl seemed to be taking her time over her recovery - considering the baby had popped out so quickly, how tough could it have been. He'd attended longer football matches. The old she-dragon was very much in residence, and the baby was a new nuisance in his life. Not only did it need quite a lot of attention, which should rightly have been spent on him, but it turned out he was expected to provide some of that attention, and get involved with unseemly things like diapers and bibs. He'd never have said yes to this baby business if he'd known how much grief it would bring him. Sometimes, no matter how earnestly a man tried, he just couldn't win. …. And that's the honest truth of how my brother started life as a husband and father. He told me so himself, and Pearl affirms it, and I've no reason to doubt it anyway. So you'd never believe he went on to become Pearl's most devoted staff and support, to adore and be adored by his own brood of kids and grandkids , and favourite uncle to all of mine. His relationship with his mother-in-law always remained contentious, but even that eased a bit under the mellowing influence of the babies. You'd never believe it, now, would you? So just you take a gander at him there, if you will. He's the tubby whiskered fellow laughing and joshing about under that squirming bundle of kids there on the sofa. He's in his element with the little ones, and they can never have enough of him. There's often tears when it's time to go home, and not just from the babes, I should add. It's become the defining motif of his life, and a happier career no man ever had. Considering his abysmal start and all, there's really no knowing where life will take you, is there?. -- > Youtube Link